588 From ‘Consent' to ‘I-Thou’,

 Th Dutch newspaper ‘de Volkskrant’ of 25th November published an article based on an interview with Manon Garcia on the notion of ‘consent’ to counter rape. Following the philosopher Kant’s principle that people should not be treated only instrumentally, but also as a goal in themselves, she objects that consent is too instrumental and too incidental, like the contract of a transaction. She pleads for sex that is more relational than transactional, like an ongoing conversation, dialogue, in which people talk of their intentions, feelings, experiences.

 All I want to do here, is to point out the connection with Martin Buber’s distinction between purely instrumental, extrinsic ‘I-it’ relations and more intrinsic, ‘I-Thou’ relations that are interactive, relational, interactional, dialogic. Those require trust .

 Earlier I also discussed the distinction de Saussure made in language between, ‘langue’ that is public and stands up in court, and parole, which is more personal, conversational, intimate, loaded with reminiscences that  arise from experience. Buber’s I-Thou relations are couched more in parole, not only in langue.

 Garcia’s proposition could then be paraphrased as follows: Sexual relations should be I-Thou relations.